The Wai is a great show of respect for the Thais. While seeing it used in your local Thai restaurant or on board an airplane may leave you thinking it is a mere equivalent to a handshake, it means much more than that to Thais.

Similarly though, when your hands are in the Wai position you are demonstrating that you are not holding any weapons. The handshake and even waving to someone (typically with your right “sword” hand) carries the same meaning in western culture. You are indicating that you pose no threat.

Physically, the Wai goes further than the handshake in that bowing of the head plays its part in demonstrating the amount of respect being shown. Generally speaking, the higher the hands combined with a greater the bow of the head, the more respect is being shown.

The Wai is not just another way of saying hello either. Don’t get into the habit of using it like a greeting.

So Who Wais Who?

The Wai is an act of respect – and submission. This is why the socially inferior always initiate the Wai. Since it is an act of submission and respect the superior side is usually far more subtle in their response, perhaps not even offering a Wai in return. This is not the superior being rude or arrogant, this is the Thai class system at work.

Thais always Wai monks since they are the earthly representatives of Buddha. As such monks are at the top of the social ladder and will not offer you a Wai in return.  There is a social chasm between yourself and monks.

Thais are also quite aware that westerners don’t Wai each other and so they may not Wai you either. If you’ve been making a real effort to blend in then this might leave you feeling a little left out but don’t be concerned, you may well be offered a handshake instead.

Here are some quick tips on Wai etiquette:

• Don’t return Wais from anyone who is socially inferior: children, servants etc.
• Don’t Wai a waiter or waitress who is gratefully accepting your tip.
• If you meet someone of equal status, match their Wai though typically one side is more superior in some way.
• If as a westerner you feel the need to include Wais in your daily life, Wai monks. And remember ladies, monks won’t accept gifts directly from you!
• You can Wai people who are much older than you as long as they not from a lower social class.
• Excessive use will make you look stupid.
• If in doubt or if you don’t want to do it simply smile and nod when someone Wais you. Westerners are given some latitude due to our typically poor understanding of Thai culture.

If all this talk of social class makes you feel awkward or uncomfortable then you need to overcome it. It is not intended to belittle lower class people as we may see it, it’s simply the social structure that the people of Thailand know and abide by.

Keep in mind that people are not the only Wai candidates however. Sacred sites and images such as that of the King are also shown the respect via use of the Wai in Thailand.